Backend Engineer, Sugma Experience Platform
A Backend Engineer is responsible for curating the structure of server side information. Backend Engineers primarily write server scripts and API's to be utilized by front side engineers and UX designers, which is much more boring than what we’d all prefer the position to entail. The day to day consists of optimizing servers for speed and stability, implementing security structures, generating reusable code libraries and generating data storage solutions, except at Beeswax Ltd, where we are merely a shell of a private limited company with no interest in any of those things.
We require no degrees or certifications for qualification or candidacy. Well qualified applicants will possess strong skills in the fields of social avoidance and Sugma experience.
KEY RESPONSIBILITIES
Here at Beeswax Ltd, we are the leading company in our industry. We are thrilled to hold a theoretical 5 star rating on Glassdoor, and as such only hire high end candidates to support our hyper-growth international privacy consultancy. Because Beeswax Ltd does not want to be bothered or contacted in any way, this position has no key responsibilities or duties. We ask that you be prepared to:
Intentionally ignore any potential issues stemming from lack of UX design or user experience testing
Actively avoid even thinking about our server side information, though you’re welcome to fantasize about our backend* structure
Be prepared to offer zero support to Beeswax Ltd during potential incidents
Have a thorough lack of knowledge as to what any acronyms related to backend engineering stand for - note that we do test this during our interview process
ESSENTIAL SKILLS
Because Beeswax Ltd is dedicated to the mission of helping all of our clients to mind their own business™, the only essential skills we require from our engineers is to be wholly dedicated to our philosophy. Soft skills such as poor communication and lack of interest in company culture are a must.
EDUCATIONAL REQUIREMENTS
An educational background that allows our backend engineers to be able to explain our core Sugma needs in increasingly florid language is a plus.
WORK HOURS
Backend engineers for a company as lauded and unpleasantly high-profile as Beeswax Ltd need to be flexible in their working hours - please be prepared to work a maximum of none hours per week, and to be on call to do nothing 24/7. We expect dedication from our engineers when it comes to being completely unreachable in times of urgency re: stand ups, incident response times, and ship dates.
SALARY DETAILS
We will pay you absolutely nothing and can offer no benefits, aside from the ability to tell your potential clientele the core tenets of Sugma at any time, any day, with Beeswax Ltd’s blessing.
CAREER PROSPECTS
In most industries and at most hyper-growth companies in the tech field and privacy fields, backend engineers are highly sought after and have their pick of opportunities based on experience, benefits packages, equity, etc. They are in high demand, with expansive career trajectories ahead of them in the areas of their choosing. Not so for Beeswax Ltd - in fact, listing yourself as our Sugma Experience Platform Backend Engineer within your LinkedIn page, resume, or other job seeking documentation is likely to harm to your future prospects.
Contact
Please visit our Contact page to submit your resume and cover letter.